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  #1  
Old 23-02-2021, 03:57 PM
cokekane cokekane is offline
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Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Things has not been going well in life for me..28yo this year with a thai gf, monthly income only 2.5k before cpf

Father has "abandon" me since i was 15 and i have been moving, staying around with my relatives like soccer ball.. move here and there since 15 till now, i don't really like the idea of renting out cus very expensive, so i thick skin abit stay with relatives

Recently father divorce with his latest girl and just sold his flat and came to me say want buy a 3 rm resale with me. I was happy about it cus after so long i can finally have my own roof over my head and with my name in the hdb i can maybe get my thai gf a long term visa easily.

Relationship has never always been great between me and my dad.. since young i have despited him for not giving me an actual roof over me, just throw me one side only.. and always go find mistress before he divorce with my mum.. wasnt home all the time..

once a few years back i had been chased out by one drug addicted relative i asked if i can go stay with him and his new wife he say need to ask wife first, after that it was a no... very sad to hear that.. instead he got me a roof at my granduncle place, the place is very rundown.. i bobian have to put up with it..

things turned sour after that, cus granduncle dont usually turn on lights at night cus he wanna save electricity.. i offered to pay for electricity but he dont want my money.. i also feel paiseh to turn on lights if he didnt accept my money also.. after that i moved out after another relative from my mum side offered me a place to stay.

Now back to present day.. father recently just divorced with the girl and ask me to buy flat with me.. i am happy cus can get my own roof after so many years of putting up with other people..... i can also get a long term visa for my gf easier now! but then again, my relationship with him isnt always the best...

Recently got one viewing... he bought his new gf along with us.. and he goes something along that "when we view the flat, i must like, you must like, aunty must also like" i was like... what the fuck? Why must she like? I didnt even ask my gf if she likes or not...

Viewing time got to know that i cant use all my cpf to pay cus the flat dont last me till i am 95yo.... called up cpf they say can but need to pay cash monthly if wanna use finish my cpf... i told my dad this is not feasible plan.. what if one day he pass away and i have to tank his share as well if i have a family of my own?

He turns to me and scold me asked, what do i mean by that? Says i mean he has to pay finish the loan before he die for me.. wtf? I didnt mean that... he twisted my words...

Next

his bday, he told me the new gf daughter bought him dinner to repay him cus he gave her 1k to helped her out with her financial difficulty period.. another wtf moment as he nvr gave me a single cent before, his money his problem, i also dont gian his money as i have my own too.. i am just dissapointed how come he can treat other people daughter so nicely but treat his own son like dirt.. many of the ad hoc things i did for him he never see with in his eyes...

I am really at lost here, is there anyone that managed to read finish till here able to tell me if i should buy or dont buy with him

Gf was telling me to buy
real life friends some say buy some say dont buy, wait till 35 years old buy own flat...

I really wanna tio this week toto first prize and get my own place...

Last edited by cokekane; 23-02-2021 at 04:38 PM.
  #2  
Old 23-02-2021, 03:58 PM
cunnin cunnin is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Go ahead...
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Old 23-02-2021, 04:26 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Assuming what you posted is true, then I would say forget it...your old man seems to getting you to buy (with him) out of desperation.

3-RM flat, means 2 bedrooms and you mentioned that his latest gf has a daughter? If after buying, the gf ask your father to give a room to her daughter? Where are you going to stay?

Furthermore, next time when your old pass on, do you think he will give his share of the flat to you? Or you have buy over at market price then from his gf then?

I thought there is some HDB scheme for non-citizen spouse? you don't qualify?
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Old 23-02-2021, 04:34 PM
cokekane cokekane is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
Assuming what you posted is true, then I would say forget it...your old man seems to getting you to buy (with him) out of desperation.

3-RM flat, means 2 bedrooms and you mentioned that his latest gf has a daughter? If after buying, the gf ask your father to give a room to her daughter? Where are you going to stay?

Furthermore, next time when your old pass on, do you think he will give his share of the flat to you? Or you have buy over at market price then from his gf then?

I thought there is some HDB scheme for non-citizen spouse? you don't qualify?
This current gf got her own hdb, just bought recently.. so i dont think my dad able to give her his share if he die. she no room sleep cus masterbed room gave her 2 daughters sleep and common room gave her father sleep. She sleeping living room now and basically waiting for my me and my da to buy so she can move in and stay with us..

I have check the non-citizen spouse alr, seems like i am only able to buy resale and not bto... at this rate if i dont buy, is it better i raise a kid in thai better? While i work in sg... at least i got one relative she still dote me alot, i can move in and stay with her
  #5  
Old 23-02-2021, 04:45 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cokekane View Post
This current gf got her own hdb, just bought recently.. so i dont think my dad able to give her his share if he die. she no room sleep cus masterbed room gave her 2 daughters sleep and common room gave her father sleep. She sleeping living room now and basically waiting for my me and my da to buy so she can move in and stay with us..

I have check the non-citizen spouse alr, seems like i am only able to buy resale and not bto... at this rate if i dont buy, is it better i raise a kid in thai better? While i work in sg... at least i got one relative she still dote me alot, i can move in and stay with her
I will correct you, whether the gf got her own HDB or not, is independent of what your father will do when he pass on. The only thing is the gf cannot own 2 HDB, so what she can is, sell off your father's share (after taking over), which means you have to sell off the flat then.

Alternatively, she can transfer the ownership of her flat to her daughters and retain your father's share.

Yes, you have to buy resale flat this time round, but what is stopping you to sell it off later on, to buy a BTO when your gf (then wife) obtains PR? Everyone can loan HDB twice, it is just your first loan is for resale.
  #6  
Old 23-02-2021, 04:51 PM
cokekane cokekane is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
I will correct you, whether the gf got her own HDB or not, is independent of what your father will do when he pass on. The only thing is the gf cannot own 2 HDB, so what she can is, sell off your father's share (after taking over), which means you have to sell off the flat then.

Alternatively, she can transfer the ownership of her flat to her daughters and retain your father's share.

Yes, you have to buy resale flat this time round, but what is stopping you to sell it off later on, to buy a BTO when your gf (then wife) obtains PR? Everyone can loan HDB twice, it is just your first loan is for resale.
If u put it like that, knowing my father.. i'm pretty sure he will do this..

Selling away the flat next time will be at a lost for sure... end up i will lugi...

If the gf not married to him, he can pass down to her? I didnt know about this
  #7  
Old 23-02-2021, 04:55 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Ah boy, yes you can, all your old man needs to do is to write a will stating he will bestow his assets to whoever he wants after he pass on then it is done. Marriage or not is not a deciding factor.

There is no law that say someone cannot leave his assets to you if you are not related.
  #8  
Old 23-02-2021, 04:59 PM
cokekane cokekane is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by iluvbreast View Post
Ah boy, yes you can, all your old man needs to do is to write a will stating he will bestow his assets to whoever he wants after he pass on then it is done. Marriage or not is not a deciding factor.

There is no law that say someone cannot leave his assets to you if you are not related.
I see.. thank you so much... i think i know what i need to do now
  #9  
Old 23-02-2021, 05:01 PM
iluvbreast iluvbreast is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Don't worry about it, you asked nicely so I am happy to share whatever little knowledge I have.
  #10  
Old 23-02-2021, 06:51 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

TS it sounds like a no from me. You should not buy the Hdb with your dad. all signs tells me that there will be a lot of trouble after you move in together. You will regret your decision.

Buy resale hdb with your girlfriend instead, under non citizen spouse scheme. But both of you must get married. If not there will be a lot of trouble if you want to take out your name later on which you and your dad bought together. Your father unable to service the loan etc and you paying for a roof for him and his gf.

It will then be difficult to kick them out later on
  #11  
Old 24-02-2021, 10:39 AM
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ramon ramon is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Dear TS, from your description of your dad, please run road far away from him. He is just using you for his own desires and you still have a long way to live. Your life don’t need someone like him.
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  #12  
Old 24-02-2021, 03:25 PM
flufly flufly is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Wait for a few more years and you can buy your own 3-room. Maybe HDB will change its rule soon and allow 30 year old to buy?
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Old 24-02-2021, 07:59 PM
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Quote:
Originally Posted by cokekane View Post
This current gf got her own hdb, just bought recently.. so i dont think my dad able to give her his share if he die. she no room sleep cus masterbed room gave her 2 daughters sleep and common room gave her father sleep. She sleeping living room now and basically waiting for my me and my da to buy so she can move in and stay with us..

I have check the non-citizen spouse alr, seems like i am only able to buy resale and not bto... at this rate if i dont buy, is it better i raise a kid in thai better? While i work in sg... at least i got one relative she still dote me alot, i can move in and stay with her
Bro.
My answer to you is simply: NO
Dont buy it with him.
When your dad gone, he most likely will leave his share to the gf. Even if not, maybe the gf's daughters. Unless you make joint tenancy, which the other owner being you will automatically inherit his share when he's gone.
ya maybe he didnt care for you. But thats his own life and your own life now.
Now he's simply just trying to make use of you.
I tell you la if you share something with the wrong person, life will become hell for you. Be it property, joint bank account, investment, business, etc.
Never share it with the wrong person.

I give a nightmare scenario, if he turns out to be the wrong person to buy a flat with:

1. His gf whole family move in and live together while renting out (or even sell off) the gf flat and dont share any proceeds with you while you continue to pay for this flat.

2. He lock you out. Just need buy a new lock and dont let you have the keys. Dont say not possible. It happens often to couples, why not dad & son? At most you can only call police come, say you are owner also and have right to enter the flat. Police only will talk and talk ask you two to go solve your own family issue, etc etc. Next day you come home after work he lock you out again. Rinse & repeat, wasting 2-3 hours every night for this drama. Even if you can take such abuse, what about your wife?

3. Since your experience with your dad is like non existent anymore, how you ever thought if he would do something funny to your wife? Filming.... touching..... rape. Even fathers can do that to own daughters nowadays, what about a daughter in law which he doesnt feel to have a relation to? How much do you know him?

4. Next time you have baby how? Hows your dad like? Doesnt sound like he's some good man (sorry). Your baby cry & cry in the middle of every night, waking up the whole house. Will your dad be that understanding enough to endure all of it?

rather just buy your own resale flat. No such problems / threats.
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Old 24-02-2021, 09:48 PM
pearlnjewel pearlnjewel is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

Marriage or housing with a wrong person will implicate the whole family. Even if you must continue to rent you should not have anything to do with this dad who wasnt really there for you. BIG WARNING TO YOU ALREADY! DONT BUY HDB WITH YOUR DAD! Buying property with your dad will implicate you tremendously and may even make you lose a big fortune.
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Old 24-02-2021, 10:11 PM
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Xgenre Xgenre is offline
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Re: Should i buy a 3 rm resale with my father?

I say buy. Your father has no money to fully pay for the house on his own. So he needs you in to stretch the loan into affordable monthly instalments. He also realised he has no chance to get a 2 room flat bto if he has used up his 2 chances at subsidised housing. No one else he can own a house with. With you using your cpf, the monthly cash instalments are more affordable when it is split between the two of you. Just buy under Joint ownership so that he has no option to Will away his share.

Right now, you are moving around with relatives. Living out of other people's kindness, I think you are better off owning a flat despite all the potential problems you may face. Your father is just horny and wants face in front of his auntie gfs. Just play along. Soon, he will be old and penniless.. Which auntie wants him then?

So what if there is a loan when he passes on? He will be contributing to the initial down payment and on-going monthly instalment right? You can always rent out his room to earn a rental income which can be used to pay off the mortgage. Older flats tend to be located in better locations. Somehow I think the area is circuit road or toa payoh.

As for your Thai gf, gfs come and go. Unless there are plans to marry within 1 year, don't need to factor in their views lah.
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