Confessions of a family man

[dadbod40]

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

[BushTracker]

Originally Posted by dadbod40

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

I feel you man! At least you still have the regular sex.

[CheongingEdge]

Don't see why people will zap you for this.

Anyway I think it's pretty common, we are trained and conditioned to think that "society norms and laws" are what's normal. It makes sense from a governance point of view but it has the effect of ignoring individualism and we are all numbers in the grand scheme of things.

It's rare to find someone who meets all your desires. Brains, beauty, skills etc. Whether it's FB, ONS, paid service. How I do it is to separate things: If I need a wild time, I know where to go. Simulating and deep conversation? That's harder, but not impossible. So far, only managed to bed 2 ladies whom had the intellectual capacity that I am looking for, and both are ONS where we are mature enough to acknowledge that it's a one off NSA affair.

You sound like you are in a mid-life crisis and in a situation where most things are going your way and therefore you have the luxury to look at where you think is lacking. Count your blessings, and it's entire up to you on how you want to fulfil the gaps

[SerflySGR]

Originally Posted by dadbod40

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

After many years of marriage, who doesn't crave for some excitement, Bro dadbod40?

I'm sure some people will zap you but not me because, like you say, this is a Sex Forum so who am I to judge?

Those hot little SYT - all too superficial? Plastic? Artificial?

[larue]

Tinder awaits your presence.

[UncleHasBeen]

Originally Posted by dadbod40

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

Hey bro, I totally get u.
Let me share my experience on this with u.
Before i got married, i had about 8 relationships with married women.
These were mainly sexual ones with little emotional capital invested.
The point i want to highlight is this, those 8 married women felt the way u are feeling right now.
And u know what is the worse part? I was not their first and only extra-martial fuck buddy.
But i do get u bro. At the same time, u might want to take some time and do a check on your missus as well. At least make sure she does not share your sentiment.

Next, i am married for 17 years now. I do not have your 'inclinations'. But that does not place me on a higher moral ground looking down at u, no bro.
I have done more questionable shit than most of the average men in SG. I am not at your current 'stand-point' is because i have went through and experienced first hand those feelings that u have now.
Marriage is hard work and it will be until the last day.
My suggestion, it might seem naive or dumb given the forum and thread we are in. But is this, work with your missus. Slowly share your sentiment with her bit by bit.
I am telling u from experience again, the moment we share our innermost thoughts, doubts or lusts with our spouse, it strengthens the relationships.
Me and my old lady brought our sexual satisfaction to the next level when we open up about our fears and worries regarding marriage.
Not sure if any of the above would make any sense to u but i do hope that u put in a little more effort into your marriage.
It could be as simple as talking more candidly.
I said all these with the deepest respect, bro.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Bro midlife crisis, been down that road, all I can say is you want something new, something exciting but end of the day even after you get it all, it all back to square one that i can say...

[driedlemon3]

Originally Posted by dadbod40

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

Life is such, when you have a peqceful life it gets boring, when it's too much drama you want peace.
Its not uncommon to feel this way and it's not just man, woman can feel the same as well when sparks of love gets eroded with the changing dynamics with the arrival of kids, stress of work, office politics and it's human nature to get lazy to take your spouse for granted. Like some bros have shared instead of looking out to find that feeling, its better to put in effort to bring back that sparks with your wife. to cut the long story short, looking out would just be a redo of the whole cycle,eventually you would still get bored with the new person and if your spouse uncover the affair, it's a big scar on the relationship even if you choose to continue the marriage. Most woman do respond to just some gentleness from their man, to see a glimpse of what he was like during courtship. Taking her to an old haunt, doing activities that brings back good old memories would be lovely even if its a cycle day at ubin, going to an old place to eat your fav food

[neonx]

what i did is i got a sugarbaby

[okoyi]

Originally Posted by dadbod40

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

Exact same thoughts and feelings - you are not alone in this.

[dadbod40]

Thanks for sharing everyone. I feel a little comforted I'm not alone on this. Like what many of you pointed out, I guess we're all perhaps seeking something only to realize that it was there all along... Being busy with career, kids has definitely not helped.

Originally Posted by CheongingEdge

You sound like you are in a mid-life crisis and in a situation where most things are going your way and therefore you have the luxury to look at where you think is lacking. Count your blessings, and it's entire up to you on how you want to fulfil the gaps

Bro CheongingEdge, I think you nailed this one on the head. I am in sorta mid life crisis and I'm not really acknowledging it. Haha. Avoidance seems the easier solution?

Originally Posted by SerflySGR

After many years of marriage, who doesn't crave for some excitement, Bro dadbod40?

I'm sure some people will zap you but not me because, like you say, this is a Sex Forum so who am I to judge?

Those hot little SYT - all too superficial? Plastic? Artificial?

Bro SerflySGR, thanks for visiting my thread. Off topic but I enjoy your stories.

Yep, SYTs are nice to look at but sometimes too superficial and tiring to maintain any sort of proper conversation.

Originally Posted by larue

Tinder awaits your presence.

Originally Posted by cherrycoke

Hey bro, I totally get u.
Next, i am married for 17 years now. I do not have your 'inclinations'. But that does not place me on a higher moral ground looking down at u, no bro.
I have done more questionable shit than most of the average men in SG. I am not at your current 'stand-point' is because i have went through and experienced first hand those feelings that u have now.
Marriage is hard work and it will be until the last day.
My suggestion, it might seem naive or dumb given the forum and thread we are in. But is this, work with your missus. Slowly share your sentiment with her bit by bit.
I am telling u from experience again, the moment we share our innermost thoughts, doubts or lusts with our spouse, it strengthens the relationships.
Me and my old lady brought our sexual satisfaction to the next level when we open up about our fears and worries regarding marriage.
Not sure if any of the above would make any sense to u but i do hope that u put in a little more effort into your marriage.
It could be as simple as talking more candidly.
I said all these with the deepest respect, bro.

Bro cherrycoke, thanks. It does help to hear from someone who went through the same situation. I'm trying to work on that with the wife too and as I said, I think I'm still lucky to get some as compared to some other bros here who don't have that luxury.

Originally Posted by driedlemon3

Life is such, when you have a peqceful life it gets boring, when it's too much drama you want peace.
Its not uncommon to feel this way and it's not just man, woman can feel the same as well when sparks of love gets eroded with the changing dynamics with the arrival of kids, stress of work, office politics and it's human nature to get lazy to take your spouse for granted. Like some bros have shared instead of looking out to find that feeling, its better to put in effort to bring back that sparks with your wife. to cut the long story short, looking out would just be a redo of the whole cycle,eventually you would still get bored with the new person and if your spouse uncover the affair, it's a big scar on the relationship even if you choose to continue the marriage. Most woman do respond to just some gentleness from their man, to see a glimpse of what he was like during courtship. Taking her to an old haunt, doing activities that brings back good old memories would be lovely even if its a cycle day at ubin, going to an old place to eat your fav food

Bro driedlemon3, I'm definitely working on that. I realise it takes effort from me rather than just complaining. But can't help it sometimes cos after a hard day of work, coming home to a wife that's screaming at kids is the last thing I want to do... So I've been avoiding I guess...

[mrboombastic]

Definitely not alone in this bro.

You’re already lucky to still have an active sex life with your wife. Many a times, I try to be intimate with my wife. But the daily grind of family life usually puts a halt to these efforts... quarrels over kids... over housework... over extended family issues.... I really don’t know how to still be lovey dovey after that. So end up, probably 1 session a month?

But when it comes to eating outside, it’s not just about the thrill man. It’s... rejuvenating to some extent. Because it comes without all the baggage and responsibilities. And not sure if you guys feel this way. But sometimes after eating outside, I come home becoming a better husband. It could be out of guilt. I don’t know. But hey. It’s the outcome that matters right...?

[fatuncle]

Bro, count yourself lucky.

Both my wife and I have not hold hands not to mention sex for more than 3yrs. We have been sleeping seperately.

We do have daily oral sex though.. If 1 day she never Fuck me, then something is wrong. Whatever thing I do or say sure tio gan by her.

To outside, we are happily married with kids. But inside I am so lonely and super sad.

Last year, when Covid started, everyday kena fucked by her until I almost wanted to leave the house. If I have no kids, I will sure fuck her off!

Now I leanrned to ignore all her fucking and swuaning. Trying to take more course and make morw "friends" so that I cam find excuse to go out and "eat".
Especially if my course is in town. It is easy to book some ang pai ML ie. Xue Er.
Walking distance nia.

Hope you find ur happiness.

[donut88]

You not alone

I also like to look for GFE with other gals, especially smart intellectual ones.

So far, my FBs are all same profile. Smart, (some are very smart), attractive, next door gal type. Once on bed, they become slut and lots of GFE

Its the emotional comfort that we looking for. My FBs have no qualms to be with me and even prepared to marry me if I made myself single again. it's not just lust, but lots of attachments and love involved.

I always feel v happy to be with my FBs coz this is when I can share alot about myself and perceptions. And we are not Judgement towards each other.

Its different from our wives because wife can be judgemental and end up quarreling over little Things.

My FBs are understanding coz some are going through the same shit at home. We treat each other with respect and offer advice on problems at home or work.

I dont even talk about work problems with wife coz sometimes she can be judgemental and bias.

With FB, I can share anything I want and is always good coz I get advice or assurance from them.

Originally Posted by dadbod40

I've been a closet follower of this forum for some time now. Reading/stalking the various posts with interest and sometimes envy. Decided to post this as a form of release/rant/reflection or whatever you call it.

You see, I've been married for more than 15 years and I have a successful career, a happy family and still enjoy regular sex with my wife. From the outside, most people would envy what I have. However, on the inside, I feel a certain emptiness... I miss the feeling of GFE, the chase, and perhaps even the thrill of making out in public places. I yearn for more than just sex, but also someone to have an intelligent conversation with, or to bounce a business idea off and cross check my thoughts and ending it off with some exhilarating sex. After all, what stimulates the most is the mind.

But... I guess there is too much to lose and too little to gain, not to mention finding someone suitable. I've tried paid dates from the popular sites but the conversations don't seem to stick. I must say some of them are pretty hot though.

Any guys share the same feelings?

P.S. I get the feel I might get zapped, after all this IS a sex forum...

[randyrockhard]

Originally Posted by donut88

You not alone

I also like to look for GFE with other gals, especially smart intellectual ones.

So far, my FBs are all same profile. Smart, (some are very smart), attractive, next door gal type. Once on bed, they become slut and lots of GFE

Its the emotional comfort that we looking for. My FBs have no qualms to be with me and even prepared to marry me if I made myself single again. it's not just lust, but lots of attachments and love involved.

I always feel v happy to be with my FBs coz this is when I can share alot about myself and perceptions. And we are not Judgement towards each other.

Its different from our wives because wife can be judgemental and end up quarreling over little Things.

My FBs are understanding coz some are going through the same shit at home. We treat each other with respect and offer advice on problems at home or work.

I dont even talk about work problems with wife coz sometimes she can be judgemental and bias.

With FB, I can share anything I want and is always good coz I get advice or assurance from them.

Wouldn't the question of who you really want to be with, be raised?

And what would the answer to that be?