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  #46  
Old 25-01-2023, 04:03 PM
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Re: My last day here-This is my story. AMA

Quote:
Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
Sorry to clarify - this post is an AMA so i will be replying to people here. I will also be using this thread to document my journey to share to other brothers here who may have the same experience.

Feel free to write what you feel in your heart bro. I wont get offended. Its good to have different perspectives and a civil discussion. This is also the purpose of the AMA. To reply to other perspectives.
ok, then.

I feel that you will be back into chionging. Maybe in 5 years, or 10. I hope to be proven wrong.

At your age, your conviction is strong. The world will keep testing your conviction. And it will push you and break you down. Your faith will not be spared. In your toughest moments, you WILL think about chionging. Maybe having this post here will remind you why you got out.

OR, it will help to push you back into the scene.

Also, your views on chiongsters will also change. Not all of us are totally depraved. Sex is a need to be fulfilled, and we cannot get that in our marriage/rs. You can ask what we will do if we get caught. We ask ourselves that every time. And we hope that the plans we have in place work. Until they don't.

I am not trying to be unsupportive. But I am very skeptical. And over the years, I have seen many guys fall back into the scene. Often, they take a big blow and they fall over the edge in the worst ways. I hope this does not happen you ah.

All the best.
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  #47  
Old 25-01-2023, 06:02 PM
syncrossed syncrossed is offline
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Re: My last day here-This is my story. AMA

Quote:
Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
[Part 2]

To the attached/married guys reading this, ask yourself this, do you want to constantly live with the guilt of a double life? To break your matrimonial vows? To destroy the intimacy you have with your wife? Disappoint your kids by letting them know daddy is paying money to fuck a hooker? Or worse still, spread stds to your wife?

To the single guys reading this, do you want to waste time, energy and money on this meaningless vice? Or spend your resources wisely to build your life and become successful? Do you want std scares? By the way now DSC wait time is 3 mths, so you need to visit private like I did, which is expensive as fuck. Do you want to fall down this rabbit hole like I did and end up with regrets? Live with the shame of visiting hookers for the rest of your life?

....
But let me just say this. Don't ever try to glorify this lifestyle. It's fucking disgusting. Because throughout all cultures, across all religions, and through the span of human history, this has always been a vice. And I know that history is on my side.
People participate in commercial sex for various reasons: cant attract women, dead bedroom, need for variety, sex addiction etc

Putting aside the financial costs of doing this, I do not think anyone doubts the stigma and minefields that are associated with commercial sex, yet we do it. Why?

A younger me might have agreed with you, as I have struggled with some of the dilemmas you describe. But over the years, I find that there is no point wasting energy grappling with the moral, cognitive, physiological dissonance, and I have already made peace with the fact that I do this, even if i already have a partner. I dont think it means that I dont love/care for my partner, I do, but she isnt able to satisfy a want that I have. Am I a depraved, twisted person? Leading a hidden life, two-faced? Maybe. But isnt that what makes us human? Everyone has flaws and skeletons in their closets.

Why can people pay for a massage that rejuvenates their body, but it is immoral when men pay to fuck and release?

Think of it another way, commercial sex is keeping many marriages and families together: the man settles his needs outside, comes home and be the loving husband/father even if the wife is not able/willing to satisfy him. End of the day, everyone is happy.
  #48  
Old 25-01-2023, 07:13 PM
sbwow sbwow is offline
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Re: My last day here-This is my story. AMA

--Some questions to ponder--
When it comes to religion, is there a basis why things have to be done in a certain way?
Is religion really the salvation of humanity when one is lost or does it brainwash the individual to follow without a self reasoning or even applying logical thinking. Then again, it is indeed easier to brainwash someone who has lost his path.
The familiarties between all are sharing stories/teachings. Is it really something worth listening to or is the story/teaching twisted in a certain way to allow it to be more believable?
How credible are the stories written by simply any individual that is unknown to one? Probably with some fancy titles and years in the service to make it sound even more convincing?
Does this person truly needed any help? Or does he simply require a listening ear when secrets cannot be divulge to a familiar face?
Are secrets being kept confidential or are they being held for exploitation by another?
  #49  
Old 25-01-2023, 08:48 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leakypipes View Post
ok, then.

I feel that you will be back into chionging. Maybe in 5 years, or 10. I hope to be proven wrong.

At your age, your conviction is strong. The world will keep testing your conviction. And it will push you and break you down. Your faith will not be spared. In your toughest moments, you WILL think about chionging. Maybe having this post here will remind you why you got out.

OR, it will help to push you back into the scene.

Also, your views on chiongsters will also change. Not all of us are totally depraved. Sex is a need to be fulfilled, and we cannot get that in our marriage/rs. You can ask what we will do if we get caught. We ask ourselves that every time. And we hope that the plans we have in place work. Until they don't.

I am not trying to be unsupportive. But I am very skeptical. And over the years, I have seen many guys fall back into the scene. Often, they take a big blow and they fall over the edge in the worst ways. I hope this does not happen you ah.

All the best.
Valid assumption that I will be back to chionging. Its been a few days and its FUCKING HARD to control the temptation.

But the difficulty of overcoming this addiction is not an excuse for me. Its like going to a drug addict and saying " I've seen 9 out of 10 drug addicts relapse, dont bother going clean".

Anyways if i do relapse ill let you guys know here in this thread. Full accountability.
  #50  
Old 25-01-2023, 09:21 PM
curious11 curious11 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rotaryshooter View Post
Thanks for the post.

Like you, i was into ML and FL for the past 10-15 years and honestly, found a lot of excitment and joy during those times. And of course, i've spent a lot a lot of money on those activities.

It was only the last 3-4 years that i found something more sustainable and probably better. 2-3 FBs and the last FB that i met that gave everything to me and i cannot give her anything except, hopefully, great sex. I stopped going to FL and ML already and really, i saved a lot of money, greater peace of mind and found someone whom i can share my secrets with in a way (FB)

But alas, all good things must come to an end and we ended the relationship a few months back as guilt crept in and i have now not visited any ML/FL since as well.

Maybe its an age/family thing or what but i just want to go back home and spend time with my family and fuck my wife (my wife is very hot. i am not sure why i even go out and makan in the first place.)

I hope to be clean now as well and hope i can resist the calling of temptations. So far so good though.

I wish you well.
don’t mean to hijack bro but u said u have a hot wife but you yourself dunno why u go out and eat?

my wife used to be ok looking, after giving birth become sumo. snack and supper non stop. i always had a thing for fit looking girls or at least girls that look after themselves. am also thinking of enjoying out with some nicer looking girls. i myself workout so am in reasonably good shape.

so i do envy you as you have a hot wife and maybe if i’m in your shoes, i may not be looking to explore out so often as i’m currently doing. having said that, i’ve only been out for ML and so far no FLs. have not brought myself to do commercial sex… yet. always feel like need to have some connection to enjoy sex instead of just paying to get laid.
  #51  
Old 25-01-2023, 10:36 PM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curious11 View Post
don’t mean to hijack bro but u said u have a hot wife but you yourself dunno why u go out and eat?

my wife used to be ok looking, after giving birth become sumo. snack and supper non stop. i always had a thing for fit looking girls or at least girls that look after themselves. am also thinking of enjoying out with some nicer looking girls. i myself workout so am in reasonably good shape.

so i do envy you as you have a hot wife and maybe if i’m in your shoes, i may not be looking to explore out so often as i’m currently doing. having said that, i’ve only been out for ML and so far no FLs. have not brought myself to do commercial sex… yet. always feel like need to have some connection to enjoy sex instead of just paying to get laid.

Recommend going for a full blood test. Sometimes obesity due to bad hormones. But ya, if lazy , dont exercise and watch diet then bo bian.

Be careful of trying FL bro. Once you get a taste of hot young syts, you can never ever get a hard on and bang your wife ever again lol.
  #52  
Old 25-01-2023, 11:01 PM
sennheiser sennheiser is offline
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Re: My last day here-This is my story. AMA

All the best..
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  #53  
Old 26-01-2023, 12:00 AM
sadsea sadsea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leakypipes View Post
ok, then.

I feel that you will be back into chionging. Maybe in 5 years, or 10. I hope to be proven wrong.

At your age, your conviction is strong. The world will keep testing your conviction. And it will push you and break you down. Your faith will not be spared. In your toughest moments, you WILL think about chionging. Maybe having this post here will remind you why you got out.

OR, it will help to push you back into the scene.

Also, your views on chiongsters will also change. Not all of us are totally depraved. Sex is a need to be fulfilled, and we cannot get that in our marriage/rs. You can ask what we will do if we get caught. We ask ourselves that every time. And we hope that the plans we have in place work. Until they don't.

I am not trying to be unsupportive. But I am very skeptical. And over the years, I have seen many guys fall back into the scene. Often, they take a big blow and they fall over the edge in the worst ways. I hope this does not happen you ah.

All the best.
Agreed!
TS just a young man. Seeing this just like seeing the past. Nevertheless still support his will to quit.
  #54  
Old 26-01-2023, 12:02 AM
sadsea sadsea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
Ya this is my fault. Im an average looking guy, like your typical guy next door. Couldnt get any hot chicks and im not willing to settle for average girls.(bc im a horny dude who only wants hot girls lol)

This is something that im trying to work on as well. To be less superficial and try to be attracted to things other than looks. Quite worried that my cheonging days may give me unrealistic expectations also lol
Now u regret chionging. Next time u will regret married and may chiong again. 😂
  #55  
Old 26-01-2023, 12:03 AM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadsea View Post
Now u regret chionging. Next time u will regret married and may chiong again. 😂
To live is to suffer haha
  #56  
Old 26-01-2023, 12:35 AM
Regretfulman Regretfulman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadsea View Post
Agreed!
TS just a young man. Seeing this just like seeing the past. Nevertheless still support his will to quit.
So sad, everybody thinks i will fail.
..

But given the low quality of the market right now, i think got high chance can succeed hehe.
  #57  
Old 26-01-2023, 01:41 AM
victor125 victor125 is offline
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Re: My last day here-This is my story. AMA

Support you, wishing you all the best. I hope you won't fall back into the wagon hard and fast again. My views are similar to leakypipes.

Don't take the others to heart, I think everyone here just had a lot of experience. Myself 10+ years in this forum, similar to your background, gone through a few cycles of testing/scares and deciding to quit. Had a few good years actually, no ML no commercial sex. Got into healthy relationships and didn't need so much external sex or validation. But also back to chionging because sex is a need.

I'm actually looking to limit this year too, getting into other healthy stuff and not be fixated on sex. Good luck to both of us.
  #58  
Old 26-01-2023, 07:31 AM
curious11 curious11 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
Recommend going for a full blood test. Sometimes obesity due to bad hormones. But ya, if lazy , dont exercise and watch diet then bo bian.

Be careful of trying FL bro. Once you get a taste of hot young syts, you can never ever get a hard on and bang your wife ever again lol.
ya that’s why i stil find it hard to bang FL bro. i still prefer some connections as some bro already mentioned about the pros of banging a FWB or FB. can do sex and non sexual stuff also. that’s important to me as well i think..
  #59  
Old 26-01-2023, 07:49 AM
sadsea sadsea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Regretfulman View Post
So sad, everybody thinks i will fail.
..

But given the low quality of the market right now, i think got high chance can succeed hehe.
Given u have such "quality" stuffs mindset, u will back soon.
To get it quit one of the way is not too focus on quitting....物极必反....
  #60  
Old 26-01-2023, 07:50 AM
sadsea sadsea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by curious11 View Post
ya that’s why i stil find it hard to bang FL bro. i still prefer some connections as some bro already mentioned about the pros of banging a FWB or FB. can do sex and non sexual stuff also. that’s important to me as well i think..
"Expectation" will lead back to old habbit...
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