Very lost in life

[Needsomeadvice]

Hi all, sorry I’m not sure where to start even
But I will try to spell it out as clear as possible

I’m in the age group of 34 to 38
I used to travel quite abit for work
During one of my work trip, I knew a girl

Nothing special came out during the trip but she took my number and asked me out.

So we went out for a few time and there’s some chemistry between both of us and we had great sex(protected)

She’s looking for a guy to settle down, and that’s when I knew I screwed up when I lied to her saying that I’m single.

Unable to get past my own issue, I decided to tell her and thought things will just end there
But she accepted that I’m married after some drama and tears, and she gave me time to divorce with my wife within 1 year.

Point to note
Things are not great between me and my wife
But not to the extend of divorcing her
The last time I had sex with my wife was like in 2019
I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

But with this girl, she seems like the perfect woman to settle down with but I do not know, after all I just knew her for less than 2 months

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl

On a side note, this girl feels like your first love and you can feel that she genuinely love me kind
But as all relationship in the beginning, not sure if that would change

I’m not sure what is my question here, just wanna share my story here and listen to inputs from you guys

And if this is required, the new girl is not as pretty as my wife and older by 2 years too

[sammyboyfor]

You say your current marriage is devoid of any sex whatsoever so I can't think of any reason to carry on with things. You might as well join a monastery.

If you're willing to accept the fact that your second relationship could end up just like your present marriage after a few years then i say go for it.

Nothing ventured nothing gained.

[Banaber]

how experienced are you with where and how this girl come from?

[Needsomeadvice]

Originally Posted by Banaber

how experienced are you with where and how this girl come from?

She’s a decent girl
Not ktv or nightlife sort of girl

[drainage]

Just remember... Girl come and go but wife will stay, make good choice

[sammyboyfor]

Originally Posted by drainage

Just remember... Girl come and go but wife will stay, make good choice

50% of all marriages end in divorce.

[shooter1]

Originally Posted by drainage

Just remember... Girl come and go but wife will stay, make good choice

only if your wife are not Girl~~

[fallen11]

another one
only 3rd party appear then thinking of divorce / ending a current relationship.

whether you start / carry on things with the new girl
or ending your current relationship / divorce
these are 2 different matters
never let both things cloud your decision making together. chances are you will just be leaving 1 nightmare to begin in another.
big mistake

your wife sucks? then divorce her first. whether another girl appears or not.
after things ended. then look for someone new.
dont mix both problems together, these are different problems.

[cuscorex92]

dude, its just lust and 新鲜感, fades thru times, its gonna be the same picture of wat your current marriage is.
another point to note, divorcing current marriage and remarry, be very sure she's wont wan to give herslf a chance walkin your ex-wife's path, & be 'stalkin' you, you like tis?

[scumofsociety]

Some quick thoughts: 1. A marriage born out of cheating, that’s not a good start imo 2. Legal and economic implications - alimony and kids, if u have any? 3. U mentioned u knew her from work trip so she’s foreign, what’s her motive then to want to settle down with you ? 4. How well u know this girl? Cause jumping from a sexless marriage to another with a person u Dk seems like a short term solution. Imo guys need sex as a physical need; for laddies is an emotional want. Sounds like it’s lust as bros mentioned above. Skinship and sex can give u the false illusion of “love”. Women go menopausal in their 40-50s so u mentioned this lady is even older than wife so… sounds not promising also for the foreseeable future for sex either. 5. Did u speak to ur wife to find out what’s the issue(?)

I could go on but hmm need more info to work on and if inadequate sex is the issue, just go for paid sex lor. 家里吃白饭，外面加菜 . Your Partner for growth, stability and emotional support, best of both worlds.

[tanweiliang01]

Originally Posted by Needsomeadvice

Hi all, sorry I’m not sure where to start even
But I will try to spell it out as clear as possible

I’m in the age group of 34 to 38
I used to travel quite abit for work
During one of my work trip, I knew a girl

Nothing special came out during the trip but she took my number and asked me out.

So we went out for a few time and there’s some chemistry between both of us and we had great sex(protected)

She’s looking for a guy to settle down, and that’s when I knew I screwed up when I lied to her saying that I’m single.

Unable to get past my own issue, I decided to tell her and thought things will just end there
But she accepted that I’m married after some drama and tears, and she gave me time to divorce with my wife within 1 year.

Point to note
Things are not great between me and my wife
But not to the extend of divorcing her
The last time I had sex with my wife was like in 2019
I feel that my love for my wife has become a responsibility instead and there is no more growth in our relationship

But with this girl, she seems like the perfect woman to settle down with but I do not know, after all I just knew her for less than 2 months

I’m not sure if I’m willing to throw away my marriage of 8years for this girl

On a side note, this girl feels like your first love and you can feel that she genuinely love me kind
But as all relationship in the beginning, not sure if that would change

I’m not sure what is my question here, just wanna share my story here and listen to inputs from you guys

And if this is required, the new girl is not as pretty as my wife and older by 2 years too

bro, i think need more communication with your wife. of cos sex helps with any relationship, but like other bros said, i think it's the freshness of your new fling that makes you feel wanted/something you yearn for. i suggest you take a look at your new fling's interest (what she can gain from knowing you. you never know whether it's an act or not since SG PR is highly valuable). if you think your marriage has no meaning, best to hang on first and just go for paid sex. act only when you're have a clearer mind, else you're on disadvantaged ground. grass is always greener before you make the move, but is it always ? only happens in your mind

[KinksHunter]

I understand what you're going through.
It seems you've met someone new during your work travels.
You guys had a connection and even got close romantically.
But there's a twist: you're already married.

Being honest about your marital status was a good step. Now, you're at a crossroads.
You've been with your wife for a while, but things aren't going great. You don't feel the same way as before.
On the other hand, this new woman seems amazing, even though you've known her for just a short time.

Here's what you might want to think about:

Being Truthful:
It's good that you told the new woman the truth about your marriage. Honesty is important.

Your Marriage:
Try to think about what's not working in your marriage. Can it be fixed? Maybe talking openly with your wife could help.

New Relationship:
You've only known this new woman briefly. Sometimes, at the start, everything seems perfect. Take your time to know her better.

Thinking Ahead:
Think about how your choices will affect your future. Divorce is a big step, especially after being married for so long.

Understanding Yourself:
Understand why you're drawn to this new woman. Is it because things aren't great with your wife? Or is it something deeper?

Take Your Time:
Don't rush into big decisions. It's okay to take time to figure things out.

It might help to talk to a professional who can guide you through this.
Remember, there's no easy answer.

Take it slow, and think about what will make you and others involved happy in the long run.

[Needsomeadvice]

Originally Posted by cuscorex92

dude, its just lust and 新鲜感, fades thru times, its gonna be the same picture of wat your current marriage is.
another point to note, divorcing current marriage and remarry, be very sure she's wont wan to give herslf a chance walkin your ex-wife's path, & be 'stalkin' you, you like tis?

Back in 2019, I dated someone too
She was 2 years younger than my wife
She also found out I’m married, demanded me to divorce with my wife
Same shit, different year. Also gave me 6 months to divorce her

But unfortunately covid came, and we didn’t see each other for 2 years.
We were talking off and on, and she’s the person I will drunk dial.
But the urge to divorce my wife wasn’t as strong as this current girl
I don’t feel loved by her much.

Originally Posted by scumofsociety

Some quick thoughts: 1. A marriage born out of cheating, that’s not a good start imo 2. Legal and economic implications - alimony and kids, if u have any? 3. U mentioned u knew her from work trip so she’s foreign, what’s her motive then to want to settle down with you ? 4. How well u know this girl? Cause jumping from a sexless marriage to another with a person u Dk seems like a short term solution. Imo guys need sex as a physical need; for laddies is an emotional want. Sounds like it’s lust as bros mentioned above. Skinship and sex can give u the false illusion of “love”. Women go menopausal in their 40-50s so u mentioned this lady is even older than wife so… sounds not promising also for the foreseeable future for sex either. 5. Did u speak to ur wife to find out what’s the issue(?)

I could go on but hmm need more info to work on and if inadequate sex is the issue, just go for paid sex lor. 家里吃白饭，外面加菜 . Your Partner for growth, stability and emotional support, best of both worlds.

1) yea, I know that, but I think she realised that too
2) no kids
3) can’t answer you that, don’t have the answer too.
4) as per my first post, I honestly Duno what I’m doing in my life now
5) my wife texted me a few days ago, asking if I still want to be with her. Didn’t have the courage to tell her anything. Feel damn sorry for my wife, but at the same time the new girl like y’all said, gives me fresh feeling and feeling of being loved

In regards to paid sex, yes. I have tons of it when I go overseas for work
In fact too much

Not sure if it’s the fact that I can bang the new girl raw, and it gives me a more “connected” feeling that I love her

[Needsomeadvice]

Originally Posted by tanweiliang01

bro, i think need more communication with your wife. of cos sex helps with any relationship, but like other bros said, i think it's the freshness of your new fling that makes you feel wanted/something you yearn for. i suggest you take a look at your new fling's interest (what she can gain from knowing you. you never know whether it's an act or not since SG PR is highly valuable). if you think your marriage has no meaning, best to hang on first and just go for paid sex. act only when you're have a clearer mind, else you're on disadvantaged ground. grass is always greener before you make the move, but is it always ? only happens in your mind

Actually my wife is not Singaporean too, and they are from the same country
Wife is still on long term pass

Been sitting down and thinking about many things, but can’t seem to find the right answer

My circle of friends are the same breed as me, love to go whoring
And occasionally have a mistress

Can’t get any advice from them
Feeling damn messed up from feeling sorry about my wife, and can’t bear to let the new one go

[Pictionary]

Originally Posted by Needsomeadvice

Actually my wife is not Singaporean too, and they are from the same country
Wife is still on long term pass

Been sitting down and thinking about many things, but can’t seem to find the right answer

My circle of friends are the same breed as me, love to go whoring
And occasionally have a mistress

Can’t get any advice from them
Feeling damn messed up from feeling sorry about my wife, and can’t bear to let the new one go

I think ah, you cannnot think properly. Have a very nice sex with her, like a very dirty sex with her, zhut zhut her or whatever. After that, have a proper conversation with her.

Also do the same to your girlfriend(not wife), zhut zhut or whatever. After that, proper conversation.

Maybe it is not a proper advice and your sex is really not fanastic at all, however maybe this is the way to start moving the conversation between your wife and you. And also same for your girlfriend. Same thing to your girlfriend. Otherwise things cannot be moved.

**Please do not say these things outside. It's a little sensitive topic, especially among women.