Quote:
Originally Posted by jasl38
hi all,
i think i am done with my marriage with my filipino wife,for the past few years her lifestyle totally upside down.
she'll drink beer almost every night ( abt 4-6 cans ), chat with her friends online or watch korean drama till 4-5am everyday.
when i go work, she will still be sleeping till afternoon,my son will be alone playing n watching tv.
i am a shift worker so sometimes i will be home in the day if i am on nightshift or off days, only those days i can take care of him.
i pity my son, noone takes care of him if i am not home
every year she will want to go back phillippines for at least 1 month holidays, she will spent abt 5k each time she goes back and come back with some debts which she borrowed from her friends while she is there coz she said the money i gave her is not enough.
i have to borrow from moneylenders to repay her debts and also to meet ends. but its never enough, i dont have a single cent savings.
every month payday, i will have to repay the moneylenders n give her family allowance ( $400 ), pay bills . end of the day nothing much left, this have been going on for abt 2 years . i still owe 2 moneylenders and last installment will be this month. i dont wish to borrow anymore, i have been borrowing for 2 years from one or another to cover. for this reason i gave her less money, but she said i spent all my money on another woman . i told her i dont have a GF n the money is actually used to pay off debts, she refused to accept the truth.
she will wake me up in the middle of the night after she finished drinking and chatting with friends, usually 4 -5am and ask me why no money. i know she usually check my bank balance using my atm card at night. i told her i got bills to pay and she will start to be crazy and shouting, i cant sleep after that and have to take leave sometimes coz of that.
i have many talks with her over these years regarding her drinking habit n late night chatting. i told her she is married already and should take care family first but she refused to change, she tells me this is ME. its a normal life for her .
2 weeks ago, we have a big quarrel and she wanted to leave. i thought it was one of her ' normal' nights so i just let the matter cool down.
last night she wakes me up again at 4am and start the same routine asking me why no money to give her and wanted divorce this time.
i think i am tired of this kind of life, i just want a peaceful life with my son now.
i have some questions before i proceed with looking for a lawyer to file my divorce.
some facts below
- married in singapore for almost 8 years
- have a 6 years old singaporean boy child
- my wife is holding LTSVP. full time house wife
- staying in a 5 room HDB ( Sole Ownership , she's Authorised Occupier )
- i have a stable job and earns abt 70k per annum
some questions below
- do i need to sell my flat if i file for divorce?
- can she fight for custody of my son? ( she said she wants to fight for it )
- do i have to pay her maintenance ?
there are some plans i have in mind, i will hired a maid to take care my son while i go work. he will be going to P1 next year.
or i can ask my mother to stay at my house to take care my son for the time being before i get a maid.
my main concern is my son, i dont want to lose him and i know he loves me more than my wife.
any bros here who have any good advices, pls post or pm me.
thks a million
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Sounds like yours is gonna be an acrimonious divorce. It's going to be a long and bitter fight so I would suggest that you spend the money and get a good lawyer. If you want custody of your boy you must have a better parenting plan than your ex-spouse..... but unfortunately you cannot use the maid as the plan as I dun think you are allowed to engage one as a single male.
Your lawyer would be in a better position to advice you after knowing more details of your case...... which we are unable to do here.
Although you are disadvantaged by the Women's Charter.... do not be discouraged....... there is hope still as your child is a male. The Singkee government treasures your son as we are having an critical shortage of males to serve NS...... they will not let your ex-wife have custody of him if she intends to bring him back to her country.
Another important point to note is that you must show that you have the financial capability to bring up your son..... so get rid of your links to the moneylenders as they would be a liability.