Quote:
Originally Posted by bloopz
hello,
from your short message here, i believe that u are not just facing the problem of maintaining erection.. you are most probably facing more issues in your life causing you stress. i have listed some here for your reference.
1) wife's "accusation" of infidelity
2) stress (due to work, $, age & wife) and time management
3) communication with wife
some deductions drawn here.. i'm just trying to help so dont flame me if they dont make sense to you ya.. :P
1) "wife thought i don't love her anymore.... I use to find other girls.. lesser as want to save money" from here, it seems that you still love your wife, but assuming you have problem maintaining your erection and you refused to have sex with her.. however, u have sex outside with other girls but cut down because you wanna save $? probably some information is missing from here?
anyway, other then the "sex" element in your marriage, your wife might be missing the "companionship/communication" part? r u falling asleep immediately when u get into bed? do u chat with her about her daily life or complain to her about your work? is there any time set aside for just both of u at all?
anyway, i've combined stress and time management together because i believe once time is properly managed, stress will be reduced. there are always situations where excess time is a luxury. which is why we need to make full use of all the time on our hands. i do not know which trade you are in therefore i cant advice on how u should be spending your time on your work. however, if you have the time on your hand, assume 1 or 2 hours to "find other girls" (whom are not part of your life right?), shouldnt you be spending these time on your wife, eg by buying her lunch or teabreak or just give her a call to ask her how is her day?
getting her in a good mood will most probably get you into a better mood as well for some additional activities when u get home at nite right?
3) as husband and wife, if you really have some problems, shouldnt your wife be the first person you should be confiding in? $ issues should also be shared, assuming your wife is a housewife(or pregnant), she can probably get some home based business to help with the household expenses or even cut down on some unnecessary expenses so that it will not be so stressful for both of you?
also, shouldnt having sex with your wife be less stressful then having sex with someone whom you do not know? understand that you care alot for your wife which is why you would want to perform well and give her the best for everything. however, how do you think she would feel if she knows you are having sex with others or other girls can help u instead of her?
i believe your problems are more related to your stress and you should be able to perform much better if you identify all the components which causes you stress and take care of them. of course, if it is really bothering you so much, please do consult the men's clinic for proper diagnosis of your health.
do let me know if the above is of any use. take care and good luck man.
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I am a married guy with kids....
VERY GOOD ADVICE.
Wife always gets LESS attractive since it's like eating same food all day.
Secondly, as we get older, more stress does NOT help.
Thirdly, living with Wife and getting the occasional "Scolding" also doesn't HELP sex drive unless you like fucking bitches.
Lastly, once men it 30+... our sex drives in terms of erection does get impacted. You really need to be going to the gym and working out and be ALPHA fit... else yeah.. it's Mr Limpy.