Quote:
Originally Posted by anikisan
What's DH?
If u are referring to finding FLs for sex, then I had been in your shoes once. Well, it's not a form of sex addiction (at least for me) but it's more of a routinised craving for some weekends, especially when I feel lonely when my kakis all not free. So I just book FL and then go home, makan and have some drinks and that is a 'good' weekend leow. Work hard at work and then rinse and repeat. After some time, i realised that this is not very healthy as since my kkb is satisfied every weekend, i don;t have the desire to go out and meet new girls (for marriage la, as i still young and still want to get married someday) and so I just settle for quick and easy release. My wallet also suffering as I'm just an average income earner in sinkiepore.
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Reminds me of 20 years back when I was going through divorce...
I was working 2 - 3 jobs back then, main job doing IT in a factory in the day, on some evenings, go teach night classes, on other evenings, work as bartender in pubs. My main / day job people didn't know about my evening jobs, but my colleagues in the pubs knew about my situation & were very supportive.
It's partly for the financial needs back then (divorcing in sg, the legal fees, credit card debts, etc), but also mentally, to focus on positive stuffs rather than when free, can think of the unhappy or even dangerous thoughts! I kept myself so busy I slept only 3 - 5 hours a day almost everyday! This way, I have little time to think of negative or dangerous thoughts!
After sorta "stabilised" on such routine for some time (a few months I think), I think mentally I'm sorta "stabilised" too. And then I realised the last sex I had was few months ago, and felt some urge again. This is 温饱思欲。
Still going through divorce proceedings, no gf, no fb, therefore the best option was GL. So I went GL on 1 Sunday evening, went through the SOP wham-bam-thank-u-ma'am. After the session, I felt kinda revitalised!
Then I went to 1 of the coffeeshops nearby for some food, can't remember whether it was char kway teow or prawn noodle or fish ball noodle or something like that, + a drink (can't remember it's 100 plus or 冬瓜茶 or coke). After that, it felt like kinda really enjoy life! (like that called pampered life?) !?? Yes, my weekly work routine was tough & very tiring, and even though that session was SOP, it kinda made me feel pampered! I also kinda felt relieved that my kkb is still normal, after the depressing period.
After that session, I told myself, continue that tough & tiring routine, yes, I need to, for the same reasons. But I think it should be ok for me to pamper myself with 1 such session every weekly or 2 (keeping in check my financial situation). Of course, after the current problems are solved, I can look forward to a more normal life & future. Of course, having experienced Women's Charter, will have phobia of sg gals, regardless of who's right or wrong!
Coincidentally, few weeks after that session in GL, a buddy of mine was also going through divorce, he also talked about no sex for some time & some urge. Immediately, we both jio each other go GL, then went through the SOP, and then also some food at 1 of the coffeeshops. We began to have more "luxury", after the bonking session, go for different food. Example, last week had fish ball noodle, this week prawn noodle, then next week maybe hokkien mee. Imagine this is the "spice" or "luxury" to us back then!
After 3 - 4 rounds of such "routine", my buddy said, seems such routine can be addictive, hahaha. We both are victims of sg's Women's Charter, our exes didn't know exactly what they wanted, but just "copy" their peers for the sake of they also have, ie, about time & age to have bf, they also have, about time & age to get married, they also get married. But future? Like that lor. We both knew, we have very deep psychological scar (even phobia, luckily no phobia for sex or women, hahaha).
Not long after that (slightly more than 1 year I think), our divorce cases concluded, we had job offers in other countries (we both went different countries) & moved on with our lives ever since!
No regrets about leaving / quitting sg, we are both doing well now, settled down with our own families, even during the pandemic, we are both also doing well, which we are happy for each other!